Widowhood ~ God is with me

This week has been a tough week.  It was filled with some super things and some disappointments.  I found myself struggling.  I miss my husband - I really, really do.  This week was a time when his wisdom and down to earth thinking along with some bad words would have solved a few things for me.

Today I cried my way through the Spanish Communion song.  I didn't mean to but God touched my heart and there we were.  We sang one of my favorite songs - Pescador de Hombres.  As we sang, the words "O Lord, with your eyes set upon me, gently smiling, you have spoken my name; all I longed for I have found by the water, at your side, I will seek other shores", I fell apart.

 

Knowing that Jesus was speaking my name and I was surrounded by some of the dearest people I've ever known...I just cried and cried.  I try to stay strong - I think I've done a good job.  Today - the love of God, the love of my church family - it was my un-doing and I'll forever be grateful!

Thank you - all of you who love me on the good days and the bad days.  I'm so very blessed to have you in my life!

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Prolonging Life ~ What Does it Mean?

So we're in the stage of "prolonging life".  We called quits on "curing" and now we're "prolonging life".  I thought I'd be a widow much earlier so being in this stage is better than I thought.  I still have today and maybe tomorrow with an incredible man, husband, father and most of all - best friend.

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

I'm not sure where you're at in life.  I hope that you're making the most of every day.  Loving the people in your life and not worrying about the people that don't make your life better.

Photo by MARK ADRIANE on Unsplash

Wherever you are - make the most of every day.  Love those that make your life better.  Pray for everyone in your life.  Be thankful for the extra days you didn't think you'd have.  Live!

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

The Beatles ~ There are places I remember...

...some are gone and some remain.  "In My Life" - a song that rips my heart and makes me ugly cry.  In My Life

I guess you could say I'm a "feeling" person.  I have a long memory for the people crossing my path in life.  Right, wrong, indifferent - I remember people.

Along my path of finding "Mr. Right" - my present husband - I found a lot of "not quite right but you touched my life" people.  Most parted ways because we weren't a good fit.  Of those that crossed my path - some have departed this earth way too early and some found the "right fit" that wasn't me.

When I met my present husband, we had long talks about songs/music/life.  I told him I was trying to find a song the Beatles had sung.  He found it for me, bought the cd for me as a gift and I sat in the silence of my bedroom - in the dark - and let the song flow over me - breaking me down - healing me.  I cried ugly tears as the song washed over me and I was so thankful for this man - my Bill - that provided this private healing time.

"Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more"

...and I have for over 25 years.

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Some of My Favorite People ~ They're Fantastic!

Holy Thursday is in the books and it was beautiful!  It was so touching to hear the congregation singing and worshiping as we worked our way through the Mass.

I was able to get some pics of the best choir a church could have!

I love these wonderful people so much!

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

My Girls

This is a little bit of a tough time for us right now.  All's good but multiple testing and the follow up doctors' appointments can get wearing.  I just want to shout out to my daughters for checking in with me, asking what they can do to help, prayer support and just general "we're thinking about you - what can we do to help" comments.

Thank you Traci & Ginger for your words of support and for "being there".  It means a lot!

Biopsy is tomorrow - Bill always does really well and I'm amazed at his body.  The nurse today said they'd keep him in recovery until they know he's safe to go home because it's like putting a needle into a balloon.  Thanks for that thought and thank you for not sending him home to my care until you know he's "good to go".

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

If concerned, ask for help!

It's okay to be concerned and ask for help!  We did just that last week.  So thankful we did!

When Bill went through Congestive Heart Failure Oct. 2017, we were told "call us if he gains 3 pounds".  He's been on Prednisone for his lungs and has gained 18 pounds.  If 3 pounds is critical, what in the world is 18 pounds doing to his heart?  So...we called and asked for a "today" appointment with his cardiologist.

"Heart" (CC BY 2.0) by seyed mostafa zamani

We love our cardiologist!  He's practical and calmed us down immediately.  Apparently there's "weight gain" and "weight gain due to fluid".  Thankfully he ordered a BNP test which came back with a really good number which means "no heart failure".

"Thankful" (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) by MTSOfan

We're so thankful that we asked for help and advice!  If you need a good cardiologist (& staff), we have a referral!

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

My Daughter's World ~ Bring on the Young Living Essential Oils!

My daughter, Ginger, from www.boredagainlife.com posted the following
today.  (As you read I believe you'll realize - her life is far from "boring"!)

I might start keeping a journal of all the ways we use oils on a daily basis.  Today was both frightening and funny.

We do the daily regimens for our immunity and sleep. 

I do my beauty routine per usual.

Then you have the extra respiratory support for this "mama to be" since my organs are now located in new places.  This basically creates a whole mess of new oil uses to be honest.

But here we go, the good stuff.

Reasons you need oils:

1. Your dog hates thunderstorms and you like to sleep.

Lavender!

2. Your 2 year old delivers you dog poop.  "Vannah stinky poop."

Thieves!  I need the Thieves!!

3. Your 7 year old caught a football with his face.

Lavender!
(What would we do without multipurpose Lavender?)

I mean, really?
Glad I have them, but I could do without the "human" Pooper Scooper.

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

The Still Small Voice

I live 600 miles from my youngest daughter.  I'm thankful for FaceBook, for cell phones and for email.  It makes the distance seem much shorter.

Photo by Tabea Schimpf on Unsplash

When a grandchild is hurting - that changes everything.  At that point, my daughter & son-in-law are hurting and Gramma is hurting.

My namesake had her elbow come out of joint yesterday.  While Dad raced off to Urgent Care, we all stood on pins & needles.  One of our own was in pain.  Therefore, we hurt also.  I think it's called family.  One tug and we're all tugged.

The outcome was good.  Her elbow was put back in place and we all appreciated each other even more.

I'm thankful for a loving God that watches over us and helps us put our broken pieces back in place.

I'm thankful for hugs - even across 600 miles.  I'm thankful for a good son-in-law and I'm thankful for a daughter that loves her children like I love her.

Thanks for visiting!  Reia

Motherhood ~ Generation Differences - Great Question!

My daughter just asked some interesting questions.  "I'm reading a book that mentions how different motherhood is now vs our mothers and grandmothers.  How do you think it is different?  Is it easier or harder?  Why?"

I could probably go on with more but these are my answers to her questions.

It really is a thought-provoking question, Ginger.  I think an in-depth answer would produce several pages - from me at least.  So here are some bullets - from my side of the fence and my humble opinion.

1) My mother was expected to dress, behave & model particular patterns.  Think "Pleasantville" the B/W part.  She went against the norm some by working with my father in their own business.

a) While we may say "ugh" about working now - it really wasn't expected or accepted in my mother's era as easily as it is now.  I had aunts that were teachers - the one career that was accepted a little easier.

2) My mother was put to sleep for my delivery and when she woke up - I was there all pretty and clean.  Daddy had to wait outside in the waiting room - no clue of what was going on.  When one of my sisters was born, she said she never wanted to see Daddy again so I'm thinking labor hasn't changed for the 3 generations we're involved with.

3) My parents made sure we were in church. Dressed nice, learning our Bible verses, singing hymns and songs like "Only a boy named David, only a little sling..."

a) I made sure you were in church also - learning Bible verses, etc.  We had audio tapes and VHS to help.

4) We had encyclopedias (old school internet) and they were fascinating to me.   Thankfully all 3 generations continue to do the same thing in that we read, went to the library and traveled through time & space with the magic of words from our reading.

5) Television for me was ABC, NBC & CBS. NBC & CBS were out of Tampa.   If you wanted ABC, you had to go outside & turn the antenna from Tampa to Orlando.  Daddy eventually added an electric gadget that would turn the antenna from inside.

a) You grew up with Cable and now children expect TV to come from a cell phone or tablet.  Not bad just incredibly different.

That's probably more than she wanted but it's what comes to mind at this moment.  I'm proud of the woman she's become & I cherish the child that she was.

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

I Remember it Well...

School, Homework, Church...Girl Scouts, Band, Soccer...

Boys, Hair, Makeup...Laughter, Tears, Prayers...

Christmas, Birthdays, Vacations...

I cherished each moment (successes & frustrations).

The years go by SO fast!

You may feel like you'll never be out of the

"Homework - Wash Your Face - You Did What???", etc. phase

... but you will.

They do grow up - honest!

When they do, you can join me on FaceBook, Instagram and TikTok waiting for a glimpse of their day

or a picture of your independent "Mini You".

I'll understand when you say..."I Remember it Well..."

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

You can join my youngest "Ginger Alana" - as she writes about one book, one experience, one day at a time.

Thankful for ~ my Husband

He can be funny, he can be serious and a bunch of other things.  He's incredibly - even scary -  smart.  Most of all - he's my staunchest supporter, my shoulder to lean on and my voice of reason.

Let me tell you a little about him.

He's a Dog Whisperer.  He is truly amazing with dogs!

He has a magic touch creating videos for Dance Recitals, my Piano Recitals, etc.

 He's beyond supportive.  All I have to do is ask him for his help & he's there.

Even down to putting together the many gadgets I bring home but
need help to make them work.

I'm blessed beyond measure.  It's been a fun, wild and crazy 20 something years with this man.  I'm looking forward to many more years.

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Thankful for ~ the Internet

I know, I know - we take it for granted but today - I'm very thankful for the internet.  Why?  I'm glad you asked.

Today I used the internet to...

1)  Look for sheet music that my students have asked for.

2)  Written my family in "real" time as if they were in the next room.

3)  Written my choir members with information about an upcoming rehearsal.  Saved me multiple phone calls - yep, I love the internet.

4)  Tag some friends to enter them into a contest my daughter is holding.  (Yes, I love Facebook also.)  I'll be glad to add you to her class & tag you also. Essential Blueprints

5)  Downloaded a template I needed for a document.

6)  Checked my bank accounts & paid some bills.

7)  Updated our church's Facebook page. St. Stephen First Martyr Catholic Church

8)  Taught a piano lesson via Skype (probably my all time favorite use of Skype).

Used correctly - the internet is a blessing & I choose to use it in a positive way.  What are you thankful for today?

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Thankful for ~ My First Baby Girl!

Growing up I always wanted to be many things.  The one thing I wanted to be most of all was a mother.

On Nov. 9th (a couple of years ago) I was blessed with my first baby girl.  While not wanting to give her age away, we weren't told genders back then until we saw with our own eyes.  So my babies wore a lot of yellow & green.

The name Traci was in my heart.  Her middle name was the name I gave all of my dolls growing up.  As I read up on baby names later, Traci (with an "i" so she'd be unique) meant "fighter".  Yep, that fits.  Not "fighter" in a bad way though.  "Fighter" in a good way.  You know, going for what you want & believe in.

Urban Dictionary defines "Traci" as...a totally awesome woman who knows what she wants.

Yep, that's my Traci also.  I always said even from the age of 3 she could "rule a small country".  Before she could barely walk as a toddler, she was putting the merchandise back in the right places when we'd go to the store.

When she was barely over one, Mama was visiting.  They were at the kitchen table.  Traci said, "Kit-ty!"  Mama said, "No, Traci, the kitty is outside."  About that time the "Kit-ty" came bounding out from under the table at them.  Mama learned fast to trust what Traci said - Traci knew what she was saying.

I have many good memories & stories about my first baby girl.  I think of them often.

I'm even prouder of the woman, wife, mother, career-woman that she's become.

Happy Birthday & I love you, Traci!  

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Thankful for ~ My Piano Students and their Families

Today (& every day actually) I'm thankful for my piano students and their families.  Here's love pouring out to my students & their families!

by  RLFilipkowski 

I've met and spent time with so many wonderful families.  They've enriched my life and I've learned so much from them.

There really aren't adequate words for the love I've experienced from them.  Whether in their home or my studio - our weekly visits contain way more than instruction time.

Here are some of the things I've learned and experienced...

1)  Look in your flip flops before you stick your foot in them - there might be a fake but oh so real looking tarantula waiting to surprise you... and it did.

2)  Be prepared, encourage and celebrate the "light bulbs" going off in the minds of students.  It's a fabulous experience and makes the hard work worth it for all involved.

3)  Everyone learns in a different way.  Find each student's way to learn and build your lesson around their way.  It's more work but the rewards are gold!

4)  When teaching in homes, you get to enjoy the family pets as well as the families.  I've met some precious puppies, kittens, gerbils, fish, big dogs, little dogs, cats that sit and stare at you while you teach, puppies that would love to be in your lap or sit patiently at your feet.  I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything!

5)  You get amazing gifts from your students.  I've been given seashells, artwork, candy, pencils, rocks, you name it - if it's important to a young person, it's been lovingly given to me.

There are many other things that I've learned and experienced but I'll keep this post brief.

6)  I've learned that if you let people know you truly, truly care about them - the following quote is true.  Here's to turning a life around - my life gets turned around every week & I love it!

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a

listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all

of which have the potential to turn a life around.” 

― Leo Buscaglia

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Angels and Ornaments ~ the Questions I Would Ask...

One of the Hallmark Christmas movies that was new to me last year was "Angels and Ornaments" .  I watched it over & over and it's stayed on my mind a lot.  This movie always brings up a lot of thoughts and emotions for me.

What I wouldn't give to have my grandparents around at the age I am now.

As a passionate genealogist - I remember the portraits that hung in my paternal grandmother's home.  I saw them every week, I knew they were family and now they're a blur.  I never even asked who they were.

My maternal grandmother lost her mother when she was 8 years old.  I know that resulted in a drastic change for her life.  I only discovered this recently as I worked on that branch of my family tree.

My youngest daughter remarks often on the amount of questions I'm capable of asking.   My answer is - "Intelligent minds want to know". 

So as I watch this movie of a grandfather that never got to know his child or his granddaughter, I'm reminded of my own grandparents and how much they meant to me, the role they played in my life and the questions I wish I could ask them.  May I be the grandparent my grandchildren need - now and after I'm gone.

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

The Songs of My Life ~ God Bless the Broken Road

There are several people I care deeply about going through a patch of "unknowns" right now.  They trust God, they pray, they follow the Bible's teachings.  I know that all will turn out "just right" for them but it's an unknown and unknowns can be stressful.  I've experienced more unknowns than I ever wanted to experience.  I've always found a Bible verse or quote to hang on to.

  by  Exothermic 

After my divorce, I moved my girls, my mother & myself to a new state - no job, no home, just knew it was the right place to go.  The Scripture I held on to was Abraham traveling to a place God would show him.  (Gen. 12:1, Heb. 11:8).  I'd done my homework - I knew we could survive there - maybe even be successful.

I met my husband (of 20 years now) in this new place.  I had no idea exactly how it would turn out but knew we needed to go there.  I wouldn't give anything for our time spent in Nashville, TN!

I discovered Rascal Flatts' song "God Bless the Broken Road".  It summed up so many things in my life.

My journal entry for this song was..."The broken dreams, the pain, the disillusionment strengthened the person I was and made me so thankful for my present and

future."

  by  akabane_hiro2 

For those of you going through a time of "unknowns" - it may not seem like it now, but...if you take a step at a time and do your best with each step - you'll look back at this "Broken Road" and know that it made you a stronger and better person.

I often think of the "you" in this song as the "you" I am now - the "you" I'm becoming.  "God Bless the Broken Road" that led me straight to "you".

I've had many more challenges - some tougher than others.  My "Broken Road" is still being traveled and I'm becoming a more compassionate, loving and prayerful person.

May your "Broken Road" become a path that leads to a stronger, braver "you".  A "you" that is more compassionate and more empathetic with others' struggles.

Still putting one foot in front of the other...Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

The Songs of My Life ~ I'm Moving On...

My life has been filled with highs and lows.  I'm an eternal optimist and have always looked for the silver lining - the one good thing to get out of every situation.

When facing a lay off - knowing it was coming - sitting tight in my boat as the waves tossed me around - this song stayed in my heart.

I'm Moving On

My journal entry - "It's also a great song when I consider my past.  However, it helped me during this traumatic time in my life.  "I'm moving on, at last I can see - life has been patiently waiting for me and I know there's no guarantees but I'm not alone.  There comes a time in everyone's life when all you can see are the years passing by and I have made up my mind that those days are gone."  The full lyrics are at http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rascalflatts/immovingon.html.  I found myself singing this song a LOT during this time."

It was a good change and reminded me that some of the best things in life are when the marbles are dumped upside down and re-positioned.

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Happy Birthday to My Baby ~ Ginger...

Dear Ginger,  

In a few hours it will be your birthday.  I remember your entrance into this world well.

You waited until 12:14am on January 19th to make your presence known.  I still swear it was because your sister was born on 11-9 and you were already in that sibling race pre-birth.

You didn't cry a lot, you did sleep a lot and one day I truly wondered if you were going to wake up at all that day.  You seemed to be satisfied to swing in the "baby" swing and Traci seemed determined to make sure it was cranked back up when it stopped.

From day one you've had sisterly help.  I guess it comes with being the baby.  I've got to admit you've weathered being the younger sister well also.

Anyway - I can't imagine what my life would be without you.  You're Ethel to my Lucy or Lucy to my Ethel.  I never know what's going to happen when we're together.  I can count on that it will be fun because you're fun to be around - just ask Snickers!

I love you, Ginger and I hope you have a really special birthday!  Mom 

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia

Reflections Today on ~ Yesterday and Tomorrow

Today I sat at a light and watched as mothers picked up their children after a full day of school.  Backpacks, pigtails and the papers that were completed that day.  I watched as mothers asked questions and children answered.

I saw myself in them and remembered the time in my past when I was that mother and I scurried along with my daughters after school.  I, too, was eager to share their day and to make sure they were safe, healthy and hopefully happy.

I loved being in their classrooms, being "Room Mother" and sharing their school life.
(Traci is seated with the side ponytail at my left arm.)

Traci

   

Ginger

                    

I spend a lot of my time now looking from the inside out and wondering how my remaining time on this Earth should be spent.  What contribution can I make?  What contribution do I make?  How can I be an active part in my now grown daughters' lives and the lives of their children?  How do I make each precious moment count for something good?

I don't have answers yet - just the questions.

I DO know that I've been blessed.  I have a huge stash of memories made from seemingly mundane and yet important activities like I watched today.

Traci

Ginger

The backpacks no longer line the hall, there are no school papers to admire or sign but there are butterflies that fly in my heart when I remember back to that time in my life and I know that the future will be good - whatever it ends up being.

Thanks for visiting ~ Reia